| Cosmic |
theme: fan senshi
My first impression is 'WOW what a great layout! Bonus points for that!' but she didn't make the layout, so it's coolness doesn't matter. I like the intro. Putting the updates after it is a no-no, because I assumed the whole thing was older updates, but it isn't. The emails, counter, guestbook stuff is all there. It is very well organized, however. The thing that bugs me is that this is an SM site with an FY layout. yeah, it's a cool layout, but it doesn't fit, y'know?
Some pics are too big for the frame, and others are stretched out. please make proper thumbnails. Say why those people are credited. I like how organized it is. milkyway is empty, please fix. same for others. the artwork is pretty good, except for some cases where it obvious that the picture was originally jupiter or neptune.
why is the main villain a bad princess kakyu rip-off? that's terrible. saffrire and emerald have already been taken as villain names. it's interesting that they are faceless, just like naoko's artbook stuff.
Andrew? there is a guy named Andrew in their story? -_- sun starlight power? yup, starlight's been done, baby.
There are ocasional bits of humour, but other than that it's not all that interesting. yeah, this review is boring, ironmouse's is better than mine. blarg. please list the profiles in the drop down menu, cause I have to use the back button. spelling and grammar is perfect for once, this person is a good author.
Queen Serenity made Sachiko a senshi to protect Princess Usagi and the other senshi during the Silver Millenium. She and Princess Usagi became best friends during that time. Except for that whole 'originality' concept. *yawn* Where she met her real mother, Michiru that had better not be kaioh, cause that's just wrong. ye gods it is. HELLO??? ugh. I hate fan senshi.
The form to submit an image request is pushed too far to the right. The table makes scroll bars. This person can't work with HTML outside of the pre-done layout.
The cliques and rings stuff is fine. yay. *bored*
What does Chibi-Usa have to do with anything? same for soundtrack. pointless! grr. I dislike this. the words go too far to the right in soundtrack, creating a bottom scroll bar.
They've got a fanart contest. see the winner-http://www.rainbowsenshi.com/blacksenshi/others/soojin1.jpg
now THAT is a fan senshi. very original costume, original name.
The web goodies aren't bad. I can see people using them.
Well, that's done. Just to say, I am totally biased in this review. I don't like fan senshi and I don't like pre-made layouts. If you are into this sorta thing, then it wasn't bad. Simple and well organized.
Fishuu said this was a otaku senshi site (Sun, Lyra & Milkyway) Oooh, aside from Sun, those are two senshi I've never heard of before. Sugoi! I might like reviewing this page...
Layout- Oh, this is just... beautiful! I love the way everything just works so smoothly together. An orange-copper background color, with browish-red shade for the text. The designs on either side of the site do look a bit odd to me, yet they still work with the site. The color corodinated scroll bar is always a plus. I adore those things, but then, I use them on my own sites :) The picture of the girl and the guy... why does it remind me of Fuushigi Yuugi...?
Galleries (you should probably set the profiles up as first on the list) Sailorsun/Kyousei - Ah, a good otaku senshi site-- one that does not use english names for the senshi. So her name's Kyousei? That first image is obviously an editted image of Sailormoon, so I can't get a good feel of what the girl looks like. *sighs* I guess I'll have to look through the images and find one that doesn't look like it's been editted... That's a beautiful picture of Sailorsun Andromeda. Sailormilkway/Luna - No images? Too bad... Sailorlyra/Meghanu - Meghan run through one of those cheesy translators, it looks like... and she looks a bit like Neptune with brown hair... and one of those funky black stars on her forehead that usually mean the witches 5 and Master Phaoroh 90. Group - Two pictures, and both look editted. Others- None Villains - None? Where are the villains? No villains for Aian to identify with...? On a side note, maybe I should sketch some pictures for these guys. They need some seriously non-editted stuff.
"The Story" - Profiles Sailorsun: Kyousei can also mean "blackmail", "obligation", "reform" and "symbiosis". It's very good that you put downt he translation, or someone could wander in and wonder why you're got someone named "Blackmail of an Angel" *snickers* Color changing eyes? Very interesting... and they're gold! Most characters with gold eyes have black hair, not brown... at least, in my experience. "Slender, curvaceous and sensual" why does that sound like it was written by a male? Actually, the symbol of the sun is a circle with a dot in the center. "Protectior of the Universe"? Right... since when is Sol the center of the universe? Galaxia protects our galaxy, so it seems like Sun should be propertor of the Sol system, not the universe. That would be something like "Sailor Universalis"... oh wait, that's a group of senshi in Sailormyth. Aian's bad. Colors: Silver, Gold and White. Cute. I wouldn't say fire as Sun's power. Maybe plasma... or molten rock, or something like that. Fire's taken by Mars. (and before anyone says anything, Mercury's power is ice, and Neptune's is water-- not the same thing.) "Sun Starlight Power, Makeup"? She's one of the Sailorstarlights now? A... unicorn...? As a guide...? Aiyah, now you're going too far into the realm of completely unbelievable. Whoa, wait-- TWO weapons? No way. Senshi do NOT get two weapons! And "the Platinum Crystal"? Oh dear, you are stretchign for ideas, aren't you? Saturn-sama's glaive can not be reporduced! It is a weapon of mass destruction and death, forged by the silence and... wait, the crystal is set in the blades? I CAME UP WITH THAT IDEA FIRST!!! *wails* I came up with that idea four years ago when I was Icicle Fox, Killer of the Goddess of Death (her son was pissed at me... and so were all the other rper's . Never kill the Goddess of Death in a busy chatroom...) Ahem, back on track, Aian... There's a sun tacked in front of the attacks. Why do I feel like I'm in a bad dubbiverse? Oh look, she's got a most powerful attack that ends up killing her once she's used it. Why does that sound so cliche? Eh, welll, this is a new way to kill yourself. Slamming your powered up fist into your own chest. Who comes up with attacks even a braindead moron knows would be fatal? Future goal is to defeat all evil...? *Aian sweatdrops* That's not much of a life. Even the other senshi all have dreams. "Her family is an average family" and "she's an only child" do not fit in the same sentence. Average families usualyl don't have one child, and only-child families spoil their children. Take the Izumi family for example... Koushiro has a laptop when he's eleven! Why? WHY?! (*Chibi Daisuke & Chibi Ken come out and drag Aian away for several long hours of therapy*) Alright, I'm happy again. Uh... "instantly made friends with the senshi"...? Normally Luna and Artemis would be suspicous of any new person. She woke up with her henshin brooch in her hand? Normally those have to be pulled out of a space pocket by someone. And normally not in one's sleep. Wow, that personality thing sounds like it's describing the real me. Not Aian or Sugar-chan, but Sammi Leigh. Alright, back to the reviewing stuff. I keep getting off topic...
Sailormilkyway- Sachiko Gogyouno... Sachiko is a familiar name to me. Far to many Mary-sues and Original Characters in the fics I've read named Sachiko. Silver hair? You'd think she'd get teased about that... "going gray before your time, Sachiko-kun?" The same build description... I really think a guy is writting this... Cute, a moon on her shoulder... I'm starting to realise why that picture int he layout reminds me of Fuushigi Yuugi. This profile is too. I can understand Milkyway as the Protector of Souls... *bashes head against the wall a few times* I really shouldn't be listening to Aqua's barbie girl while I write this... Whoo! Black in a fuku! Black in a fuku! Please say it's black leather... please... awe... it's not... Aian-hentai wanted black leather... *cackles* one to many fics with Dai-sama and Yama-sama in black leather... *Drools for a moment, then puts herself back into reviewing mode* Soul power? Ki blasts! Whoo! Is she a martial artist too? A flying cat? Should have just gone with a cabbit. At least people know what that is. Gah, a crystal and a staff. you do realise that only Princess Serenity should have a powerful crystal to use as a weapon, right? Cute attacks. Whtie Star Scrape sounds NOTHING like the oh-so-gory attack it is. Mmmm, gore... Okay, this kid has some nice, real goals... even if I personally think they're lame, but then, this is comign fromt eh girl who wants to be a 3D animator for a big movie... like Final Fantasy. Her name is both Sachiko and Luna? My, wouldn't have get confusing with Luna-neko? Abusive parents? Ah, a senshi that got hurt growing up. Please say she's vengeful, like Ami in Rip Tides... oh fuu, she sounds like anotehr Usagi-sama. Sailorlyra Megahanu Tairou: it still sounds like Meghan run through a chessy translator. Well, apparently aside from hair color, birthdate, and eye color, these three senshi are identical twins. They have the exact same build! Which I will say again: souns like it was written by a guy. Hey, wasn't Sachiko the Protector of Souls? Now Meghanu is the Warrior of Soul? Are you trying to promote Mamano Hunter Yohko, like you are Fuushigi Yuugi? Your senshi all wear gold. That would kinda stand out, wouldn't it? Hey, she's got a good protector-- the over used cliche of a DOG. Cat's are ust as bad, but everyone who's everyone uses a dog to be "original". One weapon! Yay, a proper senshi! No senshi has two weapons! Hrm, Lyra Harp Musing soudns a hell of a lot like Maakyuri's Aqua Rhapsody. "North Tokyo" I wasn't aware there was a district named "north tokyo". I knew of Shinjuku, Minato, Nerima, Odiba, and Tamachi, but I didn't know here was a "North Tokyo". "Always kind, caring, trusting, yet stern at times"...? I take it this girl has never had a group of friends show up at the door at 10:30 PM asking if she can come wander throguh allies with them. (Yeah, that did happen with me. I was ten at the time, and so were all my friends. My parents didn't really trust me after they found out I did go out with them...) Uh... Michiru is her mother? I really hope to god it was a spell cast on Michiru so she could have Haruka's kids, because I don't think Haruka would take well to her lover sleeping with a man... Whoo! Revenge seeker! That's cool! The Villians seem familiar... who's Andrew? You couldn't be talkign about... Motoki, could you? Yeah I'm a purist. Most people would get that by now, if they've been reading previous reviews...
Fan Art & Requests- Why would you want requests from people who seem to just edit alreayd exsisting sailormoon images? Request Status: Hmm, it does seem like they're actually being drawn. Eight done, but not scanned, out of a total of 14 requests. Finished stuff: There are three pictures here. Aian will only give tips and her thoughts on Moolight and Dragon picture, since it was computer colored. Celestial Moonlight & Celestial Dragon has a background that doesn't really fit the scene. Faces are not the greatest-- people's chins do not touch their neck when the head it straight up. Neck should be brought back to start behind the ear, not at the begining of the jaw. Arms on purple-skirt look odd, and her lower leg isn't long enough. I can't feel my fingers. I've been typing for to long. Shit, migrain... Legs are proper length on gray-skirt, but out of proportion, arms look good, but hands don't look realistic. Here's a tip, hold your own hand out and see how it's shaped when you're drawing fingers. Tis what Aian does. Nicely colored on the computer, although a bit more depth would do. Go pop over to http://jdillon.net/tutorial/ for a proper tutorial on how to do that.
Sailordestroyer pic is cute. She's going to do Nappa's blow-up-a-planet-finger. Yes, I did use to be a Dragonball Z fan, and I still know a hell of a lot of useless information. Sailorcreator, by the same girl... and oh goody, it's a KiSS doll. Don't try to tell me it's not! I have that doll!
Sailorstar: I am assuming this is also from a KiSS make-your-own-senshi doll. It looks like one. Celestial Starshine: Actually pretty nice, but I've been wondering. All this stuff is listed as "fanart" but none of these characters are actually part of the site. What's going on?
Links: Not bothering. Webrings: Again, not bothering Cliques: Unless my clique's in there, I don't care, and let's face it, a Yuu Yuu Hashuko clique won't be on an SM page. Voting Booth: The hell... Oh, it's those topsites. Just snag the little buttonies and stick them ont he side with the menu. That's what I did at Digimon Reality...
Soundtrack: The really lame and stupid ideas... and I am well aware that I did do something similiar with my story Ai Murasaki but it was normally just songs from the interludes, or music I was listening to when I wrote that specific chapter...
Chibiusa Image Gallery: AHHH!!! GET IT AWAY! AWAY I SAY!! People should know well and good I dislike the spore. Kaolinite! Fishuu! Jadeite! Make it go away! Why is chibiusa here anyways? Isn't this a otkay-senshi site...? Otaku Senshi contest: It doesn't seem like a contest persay... more like a battle based an votes and... whoa. *drools at the picture of Blacklightning* Ahem, right. Damn that was a good picture.
Fanart contest: Only one entry... wow, winning an award sure is popular. Maybe you should have done something like said a fansub would be the prize for winning. That's what the prize is at the Openminds contests... but then, we're a community of yaoi fans. *grins* Awards: Ones you can win. Don't care, next page? Webgoodies: Banner graphics, with cruddy text on them. The only oen that seems wore mentioning is the second banner made by Sachiko. Well, this page is done. And I made it out safe and sound-- minus the migrain that put off completing this thing for a whole freaking day. Argh!! I lost valuable time being laid up in my room... *goes off to whine*
¤ Stunning layout (even though it comes from a graphics shop and has a FY theme). Finally, someone who has enough sense to list their updates. Since there are several webmistresses you should say which one of you updated (assuming you all have ftp access).
¤ Some of your sections are empty... I would put the 'Fanart/ Requests' somewhere else since it really has no connection with the profiles in the menu.
¤ 'Soundtrack' idea is nice, I don't think I've seen any fan-senshi pages with this sort of section.
¤ Rather odd that you have a 'Chibiusa Image Archive' on a fan-senshi site.
¤ The contest is original, but the 'past winners' page is a broken link. ¤ Some of your 'web goodies' such as a certain gbook button look stolen.
¤ This site looks rather unorganized, the menu has akward break lines and the sections aren't well divided. The site tends to deviate from it's theme at times.
*drops jaw in amazement* Holy merciful heavens... its beautiful! Great layout, and yes, I notice that you use a menu bar! All looks fine, but that bar is tacky! Just go for some plain, yet purdy text links! Easier, and would add more elegance to the site! I notice that you didnt make this layout yourself, however, you did credit and a link back was given!
Good job! *pat on the shoulder for you* Im in love with this counter! Where did you get it?! Okay, so it doesnt quite match the site, beautiful none the less! Oh, updates often I see! Yay! *wipes away tear* Im so proud...
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Guestbook, just a quick tid bit for this, um, please have it open in a new screen! I got caught in the damn frame! >.< Frustrates the hell out of me!
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These pictures are great, however they do take forever to load! Make em more compact, and if you have tons of pics, seperate em into pages! I despise having to wait for a gallery to load! Sailor Milkyway, Others, and Villains have zip in em! Just tear down the pages until its actually got something in it PLEASE! Also, all images when clicked should pop up in a new page. Much better for me... oh, and those other lil people too! --; Eh, yeeeeeeeah...
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You need more profiles! Dont put up the name of em just for show 'n tell! Put down the completed profiles, end of story! Other then that I love how deep you go on these profiles! Beautiful information! Really helps people understand your characters! ^^
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You have like barely any links! You need MORE! And it would be kinda sweet if you posted up 'I Review' Peease? *pouts* Anyways, Im not one for banner links and it does make the frame scroll horizontally! That just ruins the frame and overall, pointless! Make more buttons for people to link you by, also, make it so that people have to upload the button to their own server! Easier on you, trust me. I went to your FFA and noticed that you had one of those UGLY 'Image Hosted By Angelfire' pics! Dear god, please, oh PLEASE fix that! *shudder* I hate that about Angelfire... grumble grumble..
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You dont have many cliques, actually, you only have one! o-O;; So why dont you combine your Webrings page with this one? Simple, less pages to maintain! I would also suggest joining more cliques before actually making its own page! One clique aint guna cut it!
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Load... lalala *goes to make a cup of tea* Couple minutes later, mm raspberry tea is much better then the regular ol crappy stuff! Oh yes! Surprise surprise! Its STILL loading! Ah here we go! Contests *sigh* I for one despise contests! No one enters em, and no one comes to see em! Try maybe a quiz or a poll! But contests never work cause most people are too damn lazy to take the time!
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Oh awards! Always a nice section to review. Okay, lets start this baby!
1. The awards people can apply for are huge [not the thumbnails mind you] definitely gota shrink those down.
2. The form doesnt work, error processing crap! Uh uh uh! Not fun!
3. The button to send it on the form says Gimme that Award, well um, what happens if Im applying to get my site graded? Best off just having it say Submit! :P
4. Something tells me that these awards/review are only for Sailor Moon sites, might wana put that in there some how!
5. You should actually set some rules... o.O
*exhale* Okay, now I go and look at YOUR awards. Hm.. hugeness much! Please, thumbnail em, or put text links! Dear god this took forever to load, never going back there! *slowly backs away from the page then runs for dear life* Aaaaaaaaah!
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Whew! Tired... water.. water! Ah! *cough* Anyways, back to the review! Okay, Web Goodies, lets make this quick! Text links to show previews, have more stuff. There we go! *smiles sweetly* Picky now arent we?
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Coming back soon, voices, greeting cards, they all dont work..? Oh! I getcha now... but just take em off! I dont need to know this and they are a waste of beautiful space!
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I was absolutely shocked by this beautiful layout, and your gorgeous fan art was even better! You have a great site, a few useless pages yes but with some work [and deleted pages] definitely go far! Yay!
*muah* Sending you her love,
*** Diana
Main page- I recognized the style of layout immediatly as DayDreamGraphic's. It's fine to use a graphic shop's layout, but since you are a fansenshi website, wouldn't it make sense to make a layout using one of your fansenshi? Just a suggestion. The home frame seems to be a bit long, why not separate some of its content into separate pages such as Older Updates/Plans and Adopted? Just another suggestion. It's kind of odd how you start off by telling your visitors about the popup ads instead of welcoming them to the site and telling them what it's about.
Sailor Sun/Kyousei- The link in the drop-down menu doesn't match the title at the top of this page. My computer's being cranky, so I can't check to see if you're using real thumbnails. It's good you have credits there at the bottom of the page.
Sailor Milkway/Luna - I suppose "Milkway" is a typo in your drop-down menu, as it doesn't match your page title. There doesn't seem to be anything here, so I would suggest taking the link down until there is stuff here or to add to the page.
Sailor Lyra/Meghanu- Ok, I'm really starting to dislike that drop-down menu. Every time I try to use my scroll mouse it ends up switching pages instead. Why don't you have credits on this page? If you don't need any, then I would take out the credits header, and also those headers with no accompanying fanart.
Group- Ditto for this one about the credits.
Others- Get rid of the link or add to the page.
Villains- "Queen Netaliana"'s name reminds me of Nehelenia, but her looks remind me of Kakyuu. O_O You need to do something about that credits header.
Profiles- It would be good to put up the profiles that you don't have up yet. Perhaps it would be nice to combine the Profiles pages with the corresponding gallery pages.
Kyousei/Sailor Sun Profile- Looks okay, but it would be really nice to have a picture accompanying this page.
Luna/Sailor Milkyway Profile - I found some extraneous semi-colons, so you might want to get rid of those. Usagi is never known as Princess Usagi in the series, normally it's Princess Serenity. I don't know if you changed it for the purposes of a fanfic.
Meghanu/Sailor Lyra Profile- Why is the English translation not applicable? Is it an English name? It would be nice to have a "Name Meaning" listed even if you don't have a translation. For the "Sailor Fuku Details," it would be nice to have some commas to separate all the items. "Where she met her real mother, Michiru and her real sister Rachiru." You might want to say "This is where" instead of just "Where."
Fanart & Requests- Wow, the request form is detailed! I'm impressed. When I first came to the page, I wasn't sure if you were referring to requests for images of your senshi or visitors' senshi, so you might want to note that somewhere conspicuous. The "Request Status" is a nice touch.
Links- Looks good, but I didn't check all the links to make sure they still work. Having the code for your button is a nice touch.
Webrings- Looks okay.
Cliques- You could combine this with the "Webrings" page since it's a short page and the two are somewhat related.
Voting Booth- Looks okay.
Soundtrack- I love this kind of page, it's a unique touch even though it's been done before if you know what I mean. I like "Drops of Jupiter" too ^_^.
ChibiUsa Image Archive- What the...? I don't understand what this is doing on a fansenshi site, even though I like Chibiusa. You need some credits for these pictures too.
Otaku Senshi Contest- Doesn't Agent Lilly run something like this? *goes to check* Yup, and with the exact same title: http://www.steelpenguin.com/~contest/. For the "Past Winners" page, why is June listed twice?
Fanart Contest- Another nice, entertaining touch.
Awards- *doesn't say anything but merely grumbles*
Web Goodies- These are cute! I especially like the second one, because collages always looked hard to make.
In closing- The links under "Coming Back Soon" didn't work, but I guess that was the idea. I think you've got a good start, but for now it looks like you have more site-related things than actual content. I would work on getting stuff up on those blank pages and finishing up the profiles. Also, I still think it would be good to make a layout featuring your fansenshi. Otherwise, very nice site.